Airing Grievances, Mediation and Divorce
I have always counted privacy as one of the great benefits of Divorce mediation. With a litigated divorce each party prepares declarations that get filed with the Court, taking the skeletons out of the closet, airing the dirty laundry and pointing out each other’s...
Resetting the Narrative and Divorce
I recently completed a mediation with a couple whom I had originally met with for a consultation over a year ago. At that time they ended up choosing a different path and had each hired their own attorney to handle the divorce. After a year of litigation they both...
Forgiveness, Life and Divorce
It has been said that “While it takes at least two to reconcile, it only takes one to forgive.” Bill Johnson. As with all the other emotions we experience as we live our lives, we each have the ability at any time to forgive others and to forgive ourselves. Until...
Getting to the Settlement Table and Divorce
I recently read an article that indicated over 90% of divorces in California settle prior to going to trial. Most Courts in California have a requirement that prior to proceeding with a trial that the parties participate in a Mandatory Settlement Conference to...
Things That Matter and Divorce.
Life is a work in progress and ongoing lesson for figuring out those things that truly matter. Some of those things have remained constant over the course of our lives. Some things that we might have previously thought mattered most, have turned out to be not as...
Marriage with Eyes Wide Open and Divorce
This past week I met with two separate clients who were each planning to get married. One of them was hiring me to assist them with a premarital agreement. The other wanted information about what a premarital agreement was, but was really much more interested in...
Winning, Losing and Divorce
There is an African proverb that says “When elephants fight it is the grass that suffers.” Much can be drawn from this wisdom. There is a lot of collateral damage that arises from conflict and there is often harm done to the innocent bystanders looking on. In the...
Happiness, Unhappiness and Divorce
I will readily admit that Divorce is not a happy topic. Most of the couples I am working with are going through a life event that is understandably making them very unhappy. There are studies that show that unhappiness is not good for your health and can lead to...
Taking the weight off our shoulders and Divorce
Back in 2020 I shifted my divorce practice to full time mediation and two years ago I made the final Court appearance in my last remaining contested case. As a mediator I do not represent either side so, while I am regularly filing paperwork with the Court to...
Upcoming Changes to Child Support and Child Support Add Ons
It wasn’t too long ago when I wrote about how little guideline child support has changed over the past 30 years. Change is now afoot. The California legislature has adopted SB-343 which modifies the formula for calculating child support and makes some notable...