Resetting the Narrative and Divorce
I recently completed a mediation with a couple whom I had originally met with for a consultation over a year ago. At that time they ended up choosing a different path and had each hired their own attorney to handle the divorce. After a year of litigation they both...
Gratitude and Simple Things That Matter
I have this little practice that I implemented a few years ago where I wake up each morning around 5 o’clock, enjoy my cup of coffee in the quiet house, spend a little time with my thoughts and do a little writing. It gives me a little time to just be and invariably...
The things we control, the things we don’t, and Divorce.
I spent last night in the Portland airport. I was just finishing up a nice little vacation and it was a late flight to maximize the last day of the trip. After a couple of nominal delay notifications from the airline, we boarded the plane 45 minutes or so late and...
Positivity, Appreciation and Divorce.
When the walls are closing in and the world is crashing down, one of the hardest things for us to do is to find anything positive in all of it. It is human nature to have our failings bring us down and put us in a negative place. I have certainly had difficulties in...
Maintaining Control and Divorce
There are many different emotions that we experience heading into a divorce. A couple of big ones are the sense of losing control and the fear of the unknown and unexpected. We are afraid of being unfairly treated and taken advantage of. We have never done this...
Fault and Divorce.
The issue of “no fault” divorce has become a recent topic of interest on the national stage. There has been talk of certain conservative states walking back their “no-fault” divorce policies and reinstituting a requirement for a spouse seeking a divorce to show that...
What About a Postnup Instead of a Divorce?
Usually by the time couples have come to see me at least one has already firmly decided they want a divorce. Every once in a while I will hear things from one or both spouses that give reason to pause, and explore if there are other options available to avoid a...
Why Not Guideline Spousal Support?
I have written blogs in the past about how the Court addresses the issues of child support and spousal support. For the issue of child support in California, we have an algebraic formula set forth in Family Code section 4055. The Court is largely mandated to order...
Remembering our Younger Selves and Divorce.
I have this picture of myself placed strategically in my office that was taken by a photographer for the town newspaper where I grew up in Ojai back when I was 17 and running cross-country my senior year in high school. Despite it being taken nearly 40 years ago, I...
Hurry up, it’s June and Divorce.
No, I am not trying to hurry anyone into getting divorced. This is a big decision and any couple considering divorce should first explore the various options available to avoid it altogether. We are just now entering mid-June and couples who are ready to move...