There is a lot to grapple with when you decide to divorce. There is anger, frustration, disappointment, fear of what lies ahead, and often an overwhelming sense of failure. These feelings can be paralyzing and can get in the way of moving forward and making sound decisions as you move through the process. Us human beings have a tendency to make our lives cumulative. We gather baggage along the way that weighs us down and cuts into our ability to enjoy life. We have a hard time letting things go. When things go bad we can feel the weight of the world on our shoulders and we accept that we must carry this added burden. No wonder during times of challenge we find ourselves stressed out, depressed, tired and unhappy. In today’s blog my cat reminds me and all who will listen that it does not need to be that way. Our state of mind is a choice that we make and each morning that we wake up we can choose a new path and experience the first day of the rest of our lives.
We have a tendency to take ourselves too seriously. Sometimes it just takes my cat coming and curling up on my lap to remind me to get out of my head and just be…
Lessons from a Cat
Each morning
the cat comes to watch
me write.
She insists there is enough lap
for cat and journal
and wriggles in.
She seems more amused
with the movement of my pen
then with the words
gathering on the page.
She will bat at it as if
trying to tell me something.
Does she even sense
all that is going on in my head?
She might swat at me instead
if she knew.
Life is much more simple for her,
curl into a warm place
and purr.
What more do you need?
Or maybe my lap
is her thinking spot,
where she ponders life
and death,
love and lost cat fights,
scratches and fur cleaning,
and the fairness or unfairness of it all.
She lays looking aloof
but plotting her day,
fretting about all her mistakes
and shortcomings,
all her challenges
that lie ahead.
My cat joins me
each morning,
snug,
cozy,
a curled up emotional wreck
purring away.
We all make mistakes. We all have regrets. I know all too well that sometimes it is much easier said than done to move past our shortcomings and get on with our lives. There are mornings that I wake up and I am not looking forward to what awaits. There are periods of my life where I get blown off course and I feel like I have lost my direction and am spinning my wheels. It is easy to be disappointed with myself, to have self doubt, to question why I even bother.
So what would the cat have to say about all of that? It’s hard to imagine a cat carrying grudges, having regrets and worrying about an uncertain future. We have the same ability as our pets to just be in the moment. We can obsess over our prior failures or we can start anew with a clean slate. In January I made a resolution to run a competitive 10K before the end of the year. It is July and I haven’t been running. I can beat myself up about it, or I can throw my shoes on and get out for a run. We have this opportunity each day of our lives. It is absurd to think the cat would be fretting and obsessing. So why do we do it?
When we are miserable it is usually because we choose to be. Healing and living a healthy life, no matter what challenges we must persevere, can be a lot easier if we learn the simple lesson taught by the cat of letting go of the past and not fretting about the future. If we can take that approach as we tackle divorce, or whatever other challenges face us in life, getting through it can become a lot more manageable.