Happy World Kindness Week to you all! November 9th through the 16th is Worldwide Kindness Week with World Kindness Day falling on November 13th. It is a global observance dedicated to promoting and celebrating acts of kindness. It is intended as a reminder of the positive impact that kindness can have on us all, our communities, and the world at large. It focuses on encouraging people to perform intentional acts of kindness and foster a culture of compassion and generosity. With our Country just coming out of another highly contentious election season, the timing couldn’t be better. In this week’s blog we revisit the function of kindness when we are working our way through conflict, some easy ways to share and spread kindness, and with this being a divorce blog, I will try to find some way to tie it all into divorce.
A Seeming Scarcity of Kindness. I remember a time not so long ago when we all seemed to be a little more capable of getting along with each other. There were certainly disagreements and differences of opinion, but there usually seemed to be space for dialogue and exchange of perspectives that felt productive. We have somehow moved to a space of such polarization that it doesn’t feel safe or productive to engage in these conversations. There only seems to be one way of looking at things and how could we ever think any other way? With such rigid perspectives we have become so critical of one another. In such an environment the World seem so much less kind. When did we stop getting along with one another? When did we decide to stop being as civil and kind as we once were?
The Cost of Lack of Civility and Kindness. I think there is a big price we pay with this shortage of kindness and civility we have been experiencing. Our stress levels are much higher than they once were. There is a lot more anger and resentment that takes away a lot of the joy of simply being. Just the last month alone we were subjected to a barrage of political commercials constantly attacking our beliefs and focusing on such negative things. We can’t help sometimes but to get swept away in the negativity. It certainly does not put us in a place where we are focused on kindness and trying to bring happiness to one another. When our lives are lacking in civility and kindness, it is accompanied by unhappiness and stress that takes away from our quality of life and even our health. We are definitely paying a large price for getting to this place where we are so at odds with one another. It also takes away from productivity and adds to gridlock and the spinning of our wheels.
The Cost of Kindness. Yesterday morning I went to a Chamber of Commerce breakfast and a locally appointed Poet Laureate shared a poem he had written about kindness. He began by mentioning the old adage that nothing is for free but then started speaking about the cost of kindness. Kindness truly can be a free commodity. What does it cost to lend somebody a smile or an ear? What does it cost to say thankyou, or to lend a hand to somebody in need? What is the cost of taking the time to try to understand what somebody else is saying? What is the cost of saying “hi” to somebody or holding the door for somebody, or slowing down to let that merging car get in? What does a hug, or a wave, or a wink cost? There are so many kind things we can do that don’t cost us anything yet can mean so much to the people we lend these acts of kindness to. While there may be a much larger divide in our personal views and beliefs, we remain the same people who could use a kind word and a thoughtful gesture to make life a little more bearable. There is a great cost in a world barren of kindness and no cost at all in many available acts of kindness.
Kindness and Divorce. I previously wrote a blog discussing the value of finding a way to approach divorce with kindness. You can read that blog here: https://ahealthydivorce.com/the-case-for-kindness-in-divorce/ If you can approach any disagreement or conflict with a focus on interacting with kindness, it goes a long way in moving things toward resolution. Sometimes it is really hard to move to a place where you are able to act with kindness toward your spouse when you are getting divorced. Finding a way to do so can allow for a much more smooth resolution. The fighting is part of what makes divorces take so long to conclude. Just as our world can use more kindness, any time divorcing couples can find a way to be a little kinder to one another, the more likely they are able to work together to get things reasonably sorted out. There can be minimal costs for kindness and huge dividends.
A Kinder, Gentler World. So welcome to Worldwide Kindness Week. We can all stand to be reminded to show a little more kindness to one another. I wish you all a week of kindness and that it may rub off on us and inspire us to be kind for a week, then a month, then a year on toward a lifetime. Life is a lot more fun to live when we are all being kind to each other.