Barney Connaughton on divorce and mediation: custody, support, property, and how the process works.https://ahealthydivorce.com/en-ushttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-without-destruction-podcast-episode/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-without-destruction-podcast-episode/I joined The Personal Side of Business to talk about mediating a divorce instead of litigating it: the cost, the children, and repairing how two people talk.Wed, 27 Aug 2025 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/life-balance-goal-setting-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/life-balance-goal-setting-and-divorce/Here we are once again in that week of time between Christmas and New Year’s where we are closing out 2024 and preparing ourselves for what 2025 has in store for us. I use this time to see how I did with accomplishing my 2024 goals and then move to setting my new goals for […]Fri, 27 Dec 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/airing-grievances-mediation-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/airing-grievances-mediation-and-divorce/I have always counted privacy as one of the great benefits of Divorce mediation. With a litigated divorce each party prepares declarations that get filed with the Court, taking the skeletons out of the closet, airing the dirty laundry and pointing out each other’s flaws and mistakes for all the world to see. On the […]Sat, 21 Dec 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/communication-misunderstandings-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/communication-misunderstandings-and-divorce/There are not many things more frustrating than misunderstandings and the subsequent breakdown of communication, especially with a person that you have a need to continue to engage with . I am in the midst of one such breakdown and my failure to find a way to resolve any misunderstanding between us and reestablish clear […]Fri, 13 Dec 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/budgeting-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/budgeting-and-divorce/There is a lot of financial upheaval that happens as couples navigate their divorce and move into the new reality that is to follow. The financial situation gets much more complicated because now there are two homes to run and usually no additional resources to manage the added costs. Often financial problems are part of […]Sat, 07 Dec 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/thanksgiving-traditions-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/thanksgiving-traditions-and-divorce/Thanksgiving is one of my favorite celebration days. In saying so it has nothing to do with the historical significance of the holiday as I understand that indigenous people see it as a reminder of a grave injustice. I acknowledge that. For me, Thanksgiving is a day to give thanks for the blessings and gifts […]Fri, 22 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/the-norbys-kind-hearted-professionals-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/the-norbys-kind-hearted-professionals-and-divorce/It has become one of my life’s strivings to try to save as many families as possible from a litigated divorce. If you have followed my blog at all you will have gathered that it is my perspective that most couples shouldn’t need a Judge to step in and tell them how to handle the […]Fri, 15 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/world-kindness-week-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/world-kindness-week-and-divorce/Happy World Kindness Week to you all! November 9th through the 16th is Worldwide Kindness Week with World Kindness Day falling on November 13th. It is a global observance dedicated to promoting and celebrating acts of kindness. It is intended as a reminder of the positive impact that kindness can have on us all, our […]Sun, 10 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/impasse-mediation-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/impasse-mediation-and-divorce/During a recent consultation, one of the spouses asked if I had any experience dealing with impasse, and if so, what were my strategies for getting cases past the deadlock to a place of settlement. That is a pretty big and telling question, at least the second part of it. My first thought was “well, […]Fri, 01 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/untangling-together-workbook/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/untangling-together-workbook/Untangling Together: A Healthy Divorce Guide and Workbook, California Edition. What is in the book, and who it was written to help.Fri, 25 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/shooting-too-high-too-low-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/shooting-too-high-too-low-and-divorce/I had a consultation this week with a spouse who was beginning to gather information for possibly proceeding with a divorce. I gave her information about mediation to share with the absent spouse in the event she could persuade him to consider the mediation option. During our meeting she expressed interest in getting some legal […]Sat, 19 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/resetting-the-narrative-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/resetting-the-narrative-and-divorce/I recently completed a mediation with a couple whom I had originally met with for a consultation over a year ago. At that time they ended up choosing a different path and had each hired their own attorney to handle the divorce. After a year of litigation they both became frustrated with the slow pace […]Fri, 11 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/forgiveness-life-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/forgiveness-life-and-divorce/It has been said that “While it takes at least two to reconcile, it only takes one to forgive.” Bill Johnson. As with all the other emotions we experience as we live our lives, we each have the ability at any time to forgive others and to forgive ourselves. Until we are able to forgive […]Fri, 04 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/getting-to-the-settlement-table-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/getting-to-the-settlement-table-and-divorce/I recently read an article that indicated over 90% of divorces in California settle prior to going to trial. Most Courts in California have a requirement that prior to proceeding with a trial that the parties participate in a Mandatory Settlement Conference to attempt to settle the matter prior to taking up the Court’s time […]Fri, 27 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/things-that-matter-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/things-that-matter-and-divorce/What matters changes over the course of a life. Why divorce is a good moment to reassess it, and to protect what still counts.Fri, 20 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/marriage-with-eyes-wide-open-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/marriage-with-eyes-wide-open-and-divorce/This past week I met with two separate clients who were each planning to get married. One of them was hiring me to assist them with a premarital agreement. The other wanted information about what a premarital agreement was, but was really much more interested in understanding what marriage meant legally. Back when I was […]Fri, 13 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/winning-losing-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/winning-losing-and-divorce/There is an African proverb that says “When elephants fight it is the grass that suffers.” Much can be drawn from this wisdom. There is a lot of collateral damage that arises from conflict and there is often harm done to the innocent bystanders looking on. In the divorce setting those innocent victims are often […]Fri, 06 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/happiness-unhappiness-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/happiness-unhappiness-and-divorce/I will readily admit that Divorce is not a happy topic. Most of the couples I am working with are going through a life event that is understandably making them very unhappy. There are studies that show that unhappiness is not good for your health and can lead to poor health and a shorter […]Fri, 30 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/taking-the-weight-off-our-shoulders-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/taking-the-weight-off-our-shoulders-and-divorce/Back in 2020 I shifted my divorce practice to full time mediation and two years ago I made the final Court appearance in my last remaining contested case. As a mediator I do not represent either side so, while I am regularly filing paperwork with the Court to commence and resolve cases, the paperwork is […]Fri, 23 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/upcoming-changes-to-child-support-and-child-support-add-ons/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/upcoming-changes-to-child-support-and-child-support-add-ons/It wasn’t too long ago when I wrote about how little guideline child support has changed over the past 30 years. Change is now afoot. The California legislature has adopted SB-343 which modifies the formula for calculating child support and makes some notable changes to the handling of child support add-ons which include guidance on […]Fri, 16 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/gratitude-and-simple-things-that-matter/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/gratitude-and-simple-things-that-matter/I have this little practice that I implemented a few years ago where I wake up each morning around 5 o’clock, enjoy my cup of coffee in the quiet house, spend a little time with my thoughts and do a little writing. It gives me a little time to just be and invariably has me […]Fri, 09 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/the-things-we-control-the-things-we-dont-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/the-things-we-control-the-things-we-dont-and-divorce/I spent last night in the Portland airport. I was just finishing up a nice little vacation and it was a late flight to maximize the last day of the trip. After a couple of nominal delay notifications from the airline, we boarded the plane 45 minutes or so late and it felt like we […]Fri, 02 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/positivity-appreciation-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/positivity-appreciation-and-divorce/When the walls are closing in and the world is crashing down, one of the hardest things for us to do is to find anything positive in all of it. It is human nature to have our failings bring us down and put us in a negative place. I have certainly had difficulties in my […]Fri, 26 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/maintaining-control-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/maintaining-control-and-divorce/There are many different emotions that we experience heading into a divorce. A couple of big ones are the sense of losing control and the fear of the unknown and unexpected. We are afraid of being unfairly treated and taken advantage of. We have never done this before and have maybe heard horror stories that […]Fri, 19 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/fault-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/fault-and-divorce/The issue of “no fault” divorce has become a recent topic of interest on the national stage. There has been talk of certain conservative states walking back their “no-fault” divorce policies and reinstituting a requirement for a spouse seeking a divorce to show that the other spouse is guilty of inappropriate behavior warranting a divorce […]Sat, 13 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/what-about-a-postnup-instead-of-a-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/what-about-a-postnup-instead-of-a-divorce/Usually by the time couples have come to see me at least one has already firmly decided they want a divorce. Every once in a while I will hear things from one or both spouses that give reason to pause, and explore if there are other options available to avoid a divorce. In some situations […]Fri, 05 Jul 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/why-not-guideline-spousal-support/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/why-not-guideline-spousal-support/I have written blogs in the past about how the Court addresses the issues of child support and spousal support. For the issue of child support in California, we have an algebraic formula set forth in Family Code section 4055. The Court is largely mandated to order guideline child support consistent with the formula which […]Fri, 28 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/remembering-our-younger-selves-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/remembering-our-younger-selves-and-divorce/I have this picture of myself placed strategically in my office that was taken by a photographer for the town newspaper where I grew up in Ojai back when I was 17 and running cross-country my senior year in high school. Despite it being taken nearly 40 years ago, I remember that place in time […]Fri, 21 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/hurry-up-its-june-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/hurry-up-its-june-and-divorce/No, I am not trying to hurry anyone into getting divorced. This is a big decision and any couple considering divorce should first explore the various options available to avoid it altogether. We are just now entering mid-June and couples who are ready to move forward with their divorce have a fleeting opportunity to get […]Fri, 14 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/when-not-to-mediate-your-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/when-not-to-mediate-your-divorce/Ever since I took my very first divorce mediation training course back in 2003 I have tried to do my part in educating the public on what should be the standard way to get divorced. Why wouldn’t couples first choose to attempt to sort out their divorce issues in a collaborative setting focused on getting […]Fri, 07 Jun 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/getting-your-spouse-to-consider-divorce-mediation/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/getting-your-spouse-to-consider-divorce-mediation/When a couple decides they are getting a divorce, or when either spouse begins to feel like it could be an option, it is quite easy for each of them to contact their own divorce attorney and schedule a consultation to have their initial questions answered and to come up with a plan on how […]Fri, 31 May 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/the-dead-transition-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/the-dead-transition-and-divorce/This past weekend I had the opportunity to spend three nights at the Sphere in Las Vegas, enjoying the latest rendition of the Grateful Dead, Dead & Company. Back in the 1990’s a group of my friends and I would descend on Las Vegas each year to see a weekend worth of shows as tie […]Fri, 24 May 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/involving-children-in-custody-decisions-and-information-gathering/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/involving-children-in-custody-decisions-and-information-gathering/When I first started practicing Family Law another attorney shared with me about a contentious custody case that he had been involved in where the Court wanted to receive input from the teenage child to help with resolving the pending custody trial. To elicit the child’s input, the child was scheduled to meet with a […]Fri, 17 May 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/a-celebration-of-mothers/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/a-celebration-of-mothers/I count myself extremely lucky that as soon as I make it through this full Friday of work that awaits me, I get to head off and spend this Mother’s Day weekend with my Mother. As a divorce professional I have to be careful celebrating one parent over the other. I recognize and advocate for […]Fri, 10 May 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/out-of-breath-starting-over-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/out-of-breath-starting-over-and-divorce/I consider myself a runner. I ran cross country and the distance track events in high school, ran a number of 10k’s over the years with fairly competitive times and whenever I decide it is time to get myself back into shape, I dawn my shorts and lace up my running shoes and head out […]Fri, 03 May 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-the-impact-of-the-length-of-marriage/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-the-impact-of-the-length-of-marriage/I was recently reading through a study that provided a variety of divorce related statistics. One such statistic indicated that the average length of a marriage ending in divorce was 7.8 years for men and 7.9 years for women. In this week’s blog we will explore some of the impacts that the length of a […]Fri, 26 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/modifying-support-after-divorce-and-family-code-3664/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/modifying-support-after-divorce-and-family-code-3664/Once you have completed your divorce and a Judgment has been entered to resolve your matter, you are not usually done with everything forever. This is especially true if you have minor children or if child and spousal support are at issue in your case. In your divorce decree you will have addressed the child […]Fri, 19 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/clean-slates-mountain-peaks-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/clean-slates-mountain-peaks-and-divorce/I was fortunate enough to be able to spend the last couple of weeks roaming the rolling green hills of Ireland, chasing rainbows, exploring castle ruins which seemed to pop up around each bend, and enjoying a pint or two of Guinness along the way. Passing through the northwestern part of Ireland there lies a […]Fri, 12 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-bankruptcy/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-bankruptcy/For couples that are saddled with substantial debt when it comes time for divorce, it may be a good idea to explore the options available to navigate the debt in the best way possible. One option at your disposal may be filing for Bankruptcy. In this week’s blog we look at some of the considerations […]Fri, 05 Apr 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-diving-in/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-diving-in/I had a swimming class in high school which was my very first class of the day. We were supposed to dive in and swim a couple of warm up laps then meet the instructor at one side of the pool where the class would begin. The water was cold so each morning I would […]Fri, 29 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-proceeding-by-default/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-proceeding-by-default/To initiate a divorce in California, typically one spouse will file a Summons and Petition with the Court and then will take that paperwork and have it served on the other spouse. This paperwork places the other spouse on notice that they have 30 days to have a Response prepared and filed with the Court. […]Thu, 21 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/happy-st-pattys-day/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/happy-st-pattys-day/Top O’ the Mornin to Ya! With St. Patrick’s Day just around the corner, I thought I would table divorce stuff for another week and share a little bit about what the day means to me and why. You might figure that with a name like Barney, I have some Irish roots. This is […]Fri, 15 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-taking-a-moment-to-breathe/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-taking-a-moment-to-breathe/It is a Friday morning, and come noon I am going to sneak out of the office, drive up to Dana Point and catch a ferry over to Catalina Island. If you have not been to Catalina, it is like a Mediterranean desert isle with hillsides dotted in pastel colored houses, Spanish style tile and […]Fri, 08 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-reimbursement-and-paying-a-spouses-prior-support/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-reimbursement-and-paying-a-spouses-prior-support/Your situation may involve circumstances where you, or your spouse, was required to pay child or spousal support for a prior spouse or children outside of the marriage. These obligations need to be factored into the family finances during the marriage. So, what issues might arise related to these support payments when you later […]Fri, 01 Mar 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/paying-for-appraisals-and-other-valuations-in-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/paying-for-appraisals-and-other-valuations-in-divorce/To be in a position to understand how to fairly divide assets and obligations in a divorce, we need to know their value. For complying with the Court’s disclosure requirements we are also required to place values on everything. For many assets this is an easy task. For items such as bank accounts, investment accounts, […]Fri, 23 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/realtors-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/realtors-and-divorce/One often challenging issue in divorce is sorting out what will happen to the family residence. I have written prior blogs about some of the options and considerations, including one spouse moving forward with a buyout, deferring the sale until the market is better or until school lets out, or until graduation, or having it […]Fri, 16 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/using-financial-professionals-to-support-a-healthy-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/using-financial-professionals-to-support-a-healthy-divorce/Most people facing divorce think first and foremost to find a divorce attorney to move them through the process. I encourage couples to also look at hiring a mediator as a first resource. Whichever path is taken there are other professional resources to bring into the mix which may provide further expertise and guidance as […]Fri, 09 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/police-dogs-bar-exams-and-divorce-mediation/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/police-dogs-bar-exams-and-divorce-mediation/This past weekend I was cleaning up some old files and I happened across a copy of my old bar exam dated Tuesday morning, July 28, 1992. I didn’t even realize that I had kept a copy, yet here it was over 30 years later, reminding me of my beginnings in the law. At that […]Fri, 02 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/credit-card-perks-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/credit-card-perks-and-divorce/In a recent study it was reported that nearly half of American households use credit cards to earn perks such as cash back, points to use toward purchases, and travel miles. Credit card companies entice users to run up debt so that substantial interest can be earned on balances owing. I have previously written about […]Fri, 26 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-the-needs-of-adult-children/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-the-needs-of-adult-children/For many of us parents who have adult children we recognize that our children don’t magically become fully self-sufficient when they turn 18 and graduate from high school. When couples divorce in California the legal requirement to support them (unless they are incapacitated) ends when they emancipate which is when they turn 18 and have […]Fri, 19 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/full-disclosure-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/full-disclosure-and-divorce/In my ongoing efforts to simplify the process of divorce, I have boiled it down into four basic steps. First, getting educated on the law and the issues. Second, the exchange of a thorough and complete disclosure. Third, resolving the issues through settlement or by presenting them to a Judge for determination. Fourth and finally, […]Fri, 12 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/untangling-and-divorce-mediation/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/untangling-and-divorce-mediation/When we get married we make a conscious decision to become entangled with our partner. As they say, we “tie the knot.” We move from being individuals to being a partnership. We entangle our personal lives, our finances and our assets and obligations. We may decide to become parents and get further entangled in […]Fri, 05 Jan 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/hello-goodbye-and-happy-new-year/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/hello-goodbye-and-happy-new-year/I have always loved New Years. Earlier this month I wrote about making resolutions and reflecting on the year gone by. I continue to be one of those people who likes to stay up until midnight and count down the arrival of the new year, bang on pots and pans, give big hugs to my […]Fri, 29 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/decisions-and-your-higher-self/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/decisions-and-your-higher-self/I spent a number of years serving as a board member for the school that my children attended. It was our practice to start off each meeting with a selected study for about 20 minutes or so, focused on either further educating our work as board members or seeking to inspire us in our work. […]Thu, 21 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/goals-resolutions-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/goals-resolutions-and-divorce/Each year around this time I spend some time reviewing my New Year’s Resolutions from the past year to check in and see how I did and then consider if I want to continue chasing those that I have not yet attained, or whether I want to build some new ones. I have always used […]Wed, 13 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/custody-terms-in-divorce-mediation/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/custody-terms-in-divorce-mediation/A common subject of conversation when I am working with couples who are resolving their divorce through mediation is a desire on their part to keep things very simple. Sometimes when it comes to sharing the children they are confident that they will be able to work together as a team in the best interest […]Thu, 07 Dec 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/a-time-for-thanksgiving/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/a-time-for-thanksgiving/With Thanksgiving upon us, it is time to take a short break from speaking about divorce and instead take a little time for celebration and thankfulness. Earlier this week over dinner the topic of conversation was thinking back and sharing about our favorite Thanksgiving memories. My Mother is down visiting for the holiday and she […]Wed, 22 Nov 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/considerations-in-settling-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/considerations-in-settling-divorce/Getting to the finish line in your divorce involves resolving all of the issues. When you have children the issues are custody, visitation, child support, spousal support and dividing up your assets and debts. If you don’t have children, it is resolving spousal support and dividing up your assets and debts. Your option is to […]Thu, 16 Nov 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/to-make-divorce-a-little-easier/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/to-make-divorce-a-little-easier/Most couples faced with divorce find it to be an extremely daunting task. During a time of emotional crisis and strained levels of communication between spouses, you have to sort out such important issues as sharing and meeting the needs of the children, navigating management of ongoing finances, and fairly dividing up accumulated assets and […]Wed, 08 Nov 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/child-custody-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/child-custody-and-divorce/One of the hardest things to come to terms with when getting divorced is that you will no longer be seeing your children every single day, sending them off into the world each morning, and tucking them snuggly into bed each evening. I previously wrote a blog providing some details about legal custody, child sharing […]Thu, 02 Nov 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/ability-to-earn-and-divorce-mediation/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/ability-to-earn-and-divorce-mediation/One of the challenging puzzles involved in each divorce is figuring out the transitional and ongoing management of the finances of the family which initially involves covering the joint finances of the couple in one home then expands into the need to manage the additional expenses of now having two homes but not necessarily any […]Fri, 27 Oct 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-mediation-and-retirement/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-mediation-and-retirement/It is quite common for retirement to be one of the most valuable assets held by divorcing couples. Any retirement interest accumulated from the date the couple marries, until the date they separate is considered community property and each spouse is entitled to one-half of the accumulation. Today’s blog focuses on types of retirement, how […]Thu, 19 Oct 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-mediation-and-the-consulting-attorney/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-mediation-and-the-consulting-attorney/Divorce Mediation is all about charting a path for the divorcing couple to get educated so they can make well informed decisions, exchange relevant information so they can stand on an equal footing as they make those decisions, and to provide them with the professional resources they need along the way. Serving as the mediator […]Thu, 12 Oct 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-mediation-endings-and-beginnings/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-mediation-endings-and-beginnings/Ralph Waldo Emerson is credited with saying “Life is a journey, not a destination.” It is safe to say that nobody’s planned destination when they get married is to thereafter get divorced. For whatever the reason this is where the path has led. I read an article recently on goal setting which mentioned that we […]Wed, 04 Oct 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/family-code-2640-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/family-code-2640-and-divorce/I am sorry. Once again I am referencing a Family Code section in my blog title this week. Last week I led with case names and grappled with reimbursement claims arising in divorce, getting into some technical and somewhat boring stuff. While statutes and case citations are less than sexy, it is my contention that […]Wed, 27 Sep 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/california-divorce-mediation/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/california-divorce-mediation/A very important part of the divorce process is getting educated on your rights and responsibilities so that a fair and reasonable resolution can be obtained. When you litigate your divorce you may count on the attorney you hired to carry the responsibility of seeing that you are treated fairly. When you mediate, part of […]Wed, 20 Sep 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/marriage-rights-and-prenups/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/marriage-rights-and-prenups/Why is it that people get married? Just speaking from my own experience, about 27 years ago my wife and I decided that we had found a partner that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with. We enjoyed being with each other, inspired one another and shared dreams and aspirations including wanting […]Wed, 13 Sep 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/capital-gains-the-family-home/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/capital-gains-the-family-home/When couples mediate they have lots of options to consider when addressing what will happen with the family home. If the issue is litigated the options are usually for one spouse to buy out the other one through a refinance or that the house be sold. Sometimes these two options do not make the most […]Fri, 08 Sep 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/cohabitation-spousal-support-and-divorce-mediation/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/cohabitation-spousal-support-and-divorce-mediation/In a previous blog I tackled the subject of how long couples can expect spousal support to last upon the conclusion of their divorce. One of the considerations mentioned at that time was the impact of cohabitation on one’s right to continue receiving support and the other’s right to stop paying it or at least […]Wed, 30 Aug 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/the-case-for-kindness-in-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/the-case-for-kindness-in-divorce/Kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate. When people think of divorce they don’t typically think of two people coming together and being friendly, generous and considerate to one another. To the contrary, a more typical expectation is that they be at war with one another and their treatment of one another […]Wed, 23 Aug 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/epstein-watts-and-divorce-mediation/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/epstein-watts-and-divorce-mediation/For Grateful Dead fans there is this time period called “Days Between” which is the stretch between August 1st when Jerry Garcia, one of the band’s founding members, was born (8/1/42) and August 9th, when he died (8/9/95). “Days Between” also happens to be one of the Dead’s many fabulous songs. For fans it is […]Thu, 17 Aug 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/trust-and-divorce-mediation/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/trust-and-divorce-mediation/With Divorce Mediation there are two big steps that need to be taken to prepare a couple to be in a place to make the important and lasting decisions they will need to make in their divorce. The first part is getting educated on the law and the issues. It is understanding rights and responsibilities […]Wed, 09 Aug 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-the-preservation-of-relationships/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-the-preservation-of-relationships/Divorce poses the very unique challenge of finding a practical way to bring the marriage to an end while keeping an eye to preserving all the other important relationships that have grown over time from the intersection of the worlds of the two spouses. Finding a way to divorce in a healthy way can allow […]Thu, 03 Aug 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/making-sure-divorce-is-the-answer/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/making-sure-divorce-is-the-answer/By the time couples are sitting across from me for their Divorce Mediation there is a pretty strong assumption that a final decision has been made by one or both spouses that their marriage is over and that the divorce will be moving forward. I am a very strong advocate that if a couple is […]Wed, 26 Jul 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/how-long-does-spousal-support-last/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/how-long-does-spousal-support-last/One very important and challenging issue in divorce is figuring out how the family finances will be handled once the couple has separated. When children are involved the management of the children’s needs is addressed through child support. Whether or not there are children the financial needs of either spouse is also addressed through spousal […]Wed, 19 Jul 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-lessons-about-letting-go-from-a-cat/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-lessons-about-letting-go-from-a-cat/There is a lot to grapple with when you decide to divorce. There is anger, frustration, disappointment, fear of what lies ahead, and often an overwhelming sense of failure. These feelings can be paralyzing and can get in the way of moving forward and making sound decisions as you move through the process. Us human […]Tue, 11 Jul 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/debt-divorce-and-untangling-liability/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/debt-divorce-and-untangling-liability/One often extremely challenging issue in divorce is figuring out a way to fairly divide any accumulated debt as well as what to do with assets that have outstanding loans held in joint name. The divorce judgment is binding against the couple getting divorced but since the creditor is not part of the case, the […]Wed, 05 Jul 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/why-must-we-disclose-in-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/why-must-we-disclose-in-divorce/Perhaps one of the most challenging and time consuming tasks required in a California divorce is disclosure. Before a Judge will grant a divorce or legal separation both parties must certify that they have fully disclosed all of their assets and liabilities, have exchanged their income and expense information, and have provided supporting documents to […]Tue, 27 Jun 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/mothers-fathers-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/mothers-fathers-and-divorce/This week’s blog focuses on our parents and the important role each parent has to play in the lives of the children. An important task in every divorce involving children is to find a way to preserve a healthy relationship between the child and each of their parents.Tue, 20 Jun 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/decisions-in-marriage-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/decisions-in-marriage-and-divorce/When we are young our parents are involved in a lot of our decision making. As we get older we take over this responsibility and start getting the opportunity to make our own decisions. When we enter romantic relationships and marriage we move to a new phase where we share decision making with our partners. […]Tue, 13 Jun 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/embracing-change/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/embracing-change/This week is a week of change for me. My wonderful assistant, Rosie, is saying goodbye and my new assistant Brianna is coming into the fold. We are creatures of habit and change can be uncomfortable, challenging and stressful. It is a part of life and the sooner we are able to embrace it, the […]Wed, 07 Jun 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/sound-decision-making-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/sound-decision-making-and-divorce/I spent my coffee time this morning pondering how some seemingly insignificant decisions I have made over the course of my lifetime have altered my path and left me sitting in a halo of lamplight in this comfy leather chair in a home filled with a sleeping wife, children, cats and dogs. Wouldn’t it be […]Wed, 31 May 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/child-sharing-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/child-sharing-and-divorce/Perhaps one of the most difficult things that parents must grapple with when the decision is made to divorce is accepting that they no longer have the opportunity to spend every day with their children. Factoring in the need for children to attend school and the hours devoted to sleep, coupled with work commitments, there […]Tue, 23 May 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/inspiration-motivation-perseverance-and-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/inspiration-motivation-perseverance-and-divorce/I have been developing a writing practice where I get up each morning at 5:00 a.m. when the house is still sleeping, I grab my cup of coffee and sit down in the quiet to write. I will write about whatever comes to mind and the one requirement I have is that it is to […]Wed, 17 May 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-student-loans/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-student-loans/Discover the intricacies of managing student loan debt during divorce. This guide elaborates on how the Family Code 2641 influences debt division and how to safeguard your financial wellbeing in a divorce scenario with student loans. Explore key aspects such as divorce and student loans, student loan debt divorce, and student loan forgiveness divorce.Tue, 09 May 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/understanding-nullity-annulment-voidable-marriage/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/understanding-nullity-annulment-voidable-marriage/The difference between a void marriage and an annulment, what each one requires, and why most couples who ask for one need a divorce instead.Wed, 03 May 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/pets-divorce-and-a-cat-named-terrapin/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/pets-divorce-and-a-cat-named-terrapin/Several years ago there was a well known San Diego Divorce case that involved the divorcing couple fighting over ownership of their dog. The Judge had allowed the couple to put on an entire trial over ownership and “custody” of the dog after which the Judge made orders as to who would receive ownership. At […]Wed, 26 Apr 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/blame-and-vindication-in-a-california-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/blame-and-vindication-in-a-california-divorce/A big part of what makes divorce so challenging is that divorcing couples are asked to make very important decisions related to their children, their property and their finances during a time of emotional turmoil. Divorce mediation takes it one step further and asks this same couple to work as a team to sort out […]Tue, 18 Apr 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/changing-your-name-after-divorce-in-san-diego/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/changing-your-name-after-divorce-in-san-diego/There are many essential decisions that couples need to make while navigating their divorce. When a spouse takes the last name of their partner when they get married, they are given the option to restore their maiden name at the time of divorce. This week we explore some of the considerations that might go into […]Wed, 12 Apr 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/san-diego-divorce-mediation-privacy/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/san-diego-divorce-mediation-privacy/The litigated divorce is a public affair. The courtrooms where they take place are open to the public. Anything filed with the Court is available for anyone curious enough to request a copy. When couples file paperwork attacking, criticizing and pointing out all the character flaws of the other spouse, they are opening their private […]Mon, 03 Apr 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/the-timelines-of-divorce-and-the-speed-of-mediation/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/the-timelines-of-divorce-and-the-speed-of-mediation/A common question I hear during my first consultation with couples gathering information as they prepare to divorce, is “how long does the process take?” There are a few different clocks that we must reference to answer this question. First, in mediation, there is the time it takes to get the couple to a […]Mon, 27 Mar 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-mediation-as-a-resource-for-therapists/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-mediation-as-a-resource-for-therapists/This past week I had the opportunity to chat with two wonderful therapists, Miriam Collada with Collada Counseling in Mission Valley, who is just beginning to embark on her private practice journey and Kara Kohnen, with Grow Through Life Counseling, who has been at it for years and has expanded her practice to include seven […]Wed, 22 Mar 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/mediating-divorce-and-the-collision-between-emotions-and-the-law/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/mediating-divorce-and-the-collision-between-emotions-and-the-law/Back in 2003 when I took my very first Divorce Mediation training there were about 18 of us enrolled in the week-long course. Three of us were divorce attorneys and everyone else was therapists. The course was taught by a Husband and Wife team where one was an attorney and the other was a therapist. […]Tue, 14 Mar 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-mediation-and-building-of-tree-forts/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-mediation-and-building-of-tree-forts/Divorce Mediation and the Building of Tree Forts: A Lesson in Collaboration and Compromise I don’t have it listed prominently on my resume, but I am a climber of trees and a builder of tree forts. I never thought to add that to my credentials or point it out in my initial consultations with potential […]Mon, 06 Mar 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-sitting-down-at-the-table/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-sitting-down-at-the-table/The main difference between divorce mediation and the traditional litigated divorce with attorneys, is how long it takes for the couple to sit down together at the same table to have a meaningful discussion to settle their case. In divorce mediation, the case begins and ends at the conference table where the couple comes together with […]Mon, 27 Feb 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-mediation-and-stinging-nettle-finding-the-good-in-it/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-mediation-and-stinging-nettle-finding-the-good-in-it/Divorce and Stinging Nettle? Here we go with the clichés of divorce being like a weed that takes over the yard or divorce packing a sting. Sure, there is that. I hope by the time we are done with the analogy it will make a little more sense, it won’t be too sappy, and it […]Mon, 20 Feb 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/nesting-and-child-custody-in-divorce-mediation/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/nesting-and-child-custody-in-divorce-mediation/Nesting is a child sharing arrangement in divorce where the children remain full time in the family home and the parents move in when it is their parenting time, and move out when it is the other parent’s custodial time. This is not a very common practice but occasionally will provide couples with an option […]Mon, 13 Feb 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/adding-detail-and-depth-to-divorce-agreements/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/adding-detail-and-depth-to-divorce-agreements/The Divorce Agreement. When couples divorce there are certain items that need to be dealt with to consider the divorce complete. These issues include ending the status of the marriage, addressing the custody and visitation of minor children, setting child and spousal support and dividing up the assets and debts. Of these issues, typically the […]Mon, 06 Feb 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-estate-planning/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-estate-planning/In a recent study conducted by caring.com it was found that while 56% of those surveyed believed that estate planning was important, only 33% of Americans had actually formally completed their estate plan. Each state has laws that determine what happens to somebody’s belongings and the guardianship of their minor children in the event of […]Wed, 01 Feb 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-mediation-and-life-insurance/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-mediation-and-life-insurance/It isn’t hard to think of a more pleasant combination of topics to write about than divorce and death, but here we are. It is valuable to understand the three primary situations where life insurance needs to be addressed in a divorce. The first situation is when the couple has a whole life or variable […]Wed, 25 Jan 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-intention-visualization/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-intention-visualization/It can be a very valuable exercise at the beginning of divorce for the divorcing couple to envision what they want things to look like in the end. The same is true for divorce professionals working with these couples to also carry what they would like things to look like for the couple at the […]Mon, 16 Jan 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/happy-international-child-centered-divorce-month/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/happy-international-child-centered-divorce-month/I have seen a couple of recent articles stating that January is International Child Centered Divorce Month. I looked it up online and sure enough it is a real thing. Diving in a little deeper I discovered that July is National Child Centered Divorce Month in the United States. We will need to wait another […]Mon, 09 Jan 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/to-zoom-or-not-to-zoom-that-is-the-question/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/to-zoom-or-not-to-zoom-that-is-the-question/In March of 2022 when the Courts closed and stay at home orders were issued I had mediated a total of zero divorces by way of zoom video conference. I had handled a few via phone conference out of necessity where one of the spouses lived out of town, which was less than ideal, but […]Thu, 05 Jan 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/reflections-and-aspirations/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/reflections-and-aspirations/There is a lot going on the last couple weeks of December. Most people probably don’t want to hear about divorce during this time. It is a time of celebration, a time of showing generosity, love, friendship and joy. It is a very busy time but also a time for peace, calm and relaxation. For […]Tue, 20 Dec 2022 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/the-divorce-coach-and-high-emotions-throughout-the-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/the-divorce-coach-and-high-emotions-throughout-the-divorce/Over my years working as a Divorce Attorney and now Divorce Mediator, I have seen numerous stories of spouses and other divorce professionals being killed by angry opposing spouses in the midst of their divorces. I have been part of an office that had a client kill their own mother who had sided with the […]Wed, 14 Dec 2022 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/stay-in-control-with-divorce-mediation/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/stay-in-control-with-divorce-mediation/One way for couples to keep their power throughout the divorce process is to work together to resolve their issues through divorce mediation. When divorcing couples hire attorneys and step into the Courthouse to have the Judge rule on their issues, they have successfully handed over the decision making authority of their divorce to a […]Mon, 05 Dec 2022 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/tips-for-couples-dealing-with-the-stress-of-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/tips-for-couples-dealing-with-the-stress-of-divorce/Divorce is a stressful time. It is a time of uncertainty, change, emotional challenges, upheaval, and is fraught with problems needing to be solved. While there are ways to reduce the stress by getting good guidance from the right professionals and choosing divorce mediation to remove the stress and uncertainty of the Courts from the […]Mon, 28 Nov 2022 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/good-people-in-family-law/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/good-people-in-family-law/I have been on a mission to inform the world that there is a better way for couples to divorce than hiring attorneys and litigating through the Family Courts. I think most spouses are capable of working together with a divorce mediator to get fully educated on the issues, exchange all pertinent information, explore their […]Mon, 21 Nov 2022 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-rising-interest-rates-and-the-family-home/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-rising-interest-rates-and-the-family-home/Since I started mediating divorces in 2003 there have been a variety of housing trends over the years that have impacted dealing with houses in the divorces that I have handled. House values have skyrocketed then plummeted. Interest rates have fluctuated. Qualifying for loans and refinances became extraordinarily simple, then incredibly difficult. Over this past […]Thu, 17 Nov 2022 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-attorneys-and-therapists-should-be-sharing-a-cup-of-coffee-more-often/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-attorneys-and-therapists-should-be-sharing-a-cup-of-coffee-more-often/There was a time years ago when the San Diego chapter of CAMFT (California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists) and the San Diego County Bar Association paired up to have a monthly attorney/therapist interface luncheon. There would be a speaker that would present but then the therapists and attorneys would be left to eat […]Wed, 02 Nov 2022 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/my-journey-to-a-healthy-divorce/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/my-journey-to-a-healthy-divorce/My name is Barney Connaughton, Divorce Mediator and owner of A Healthy Divorce located in Chula Vista. I went to law school because I wanted to become a lawyer to help solve the problems of the world and make it a better place. I originally envisioned environmental law but my path took a detour into […]Mon, 31 Oct 2022 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/happy-mediation-awareness-week/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/happy-mediation-awareness-week/If you are reading this announcement you have just been made aware of one of the best kept secrets in the world of Divorce, the option to mediate. We have been conditioned to pick up the phone and call a Divorce Attorney when there is a breakdown in our marriages to set it up to […]Wed, 19 Oct 2022 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/how-divorce-mediation-can-keep-you-out-of-the-backlogged-court-system-after-covid-19/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/how-divorce-mediation-can-keep-you-out-of-the-backlogged-court-system-after-covid-19/With COVID-19 making life uncertain, it can help to find ways to stay out of the backlogged court system. If you and your ex are trying to work through a divorce, or you are trying to settle a custody modification, mediation is the answer. When you work with a mediator, you can get the answers […]Tue, 30 Jun 2020 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/the-family-courts-are-opening-ready-set-go/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/the-family-courts-are-opening-ready-set-go/We live in a world where information changes by the minute and it now appears we have an opening day for the Courts! On May 26, 2020, after nearly 11 weeks of closure, the Court will be back open for more than just emergency orders. The clerk’s office has indicated that filings will start being […]Mon, 18 May 2020 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/5-essential-skills-to-look-for-in-a-good-divorce-mediator/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/5-essential-skills-to-look-for-in-a-good-divorce-mediator/Take control of your divorce and make the decision to mediate. You and your spouse will govern the decision making process to avoid the costly, stressful, and unbelievably backlogged Court system. How refreshing will it feel to know that you will be moving onto the next chapter in your life based upon your timing and […]Thu, 07 May 2020 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-mediation-and-health-insurance/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-mediation-and-health-insurance/During marriage couples will typically obtain health insurance through the employment benefits of one working spouse. If both spouses have insurance available through their employer the family considers their options and may select the less expensive plan, the best comprehensive coverage, or may pick and choose between the plans by selecting the primary health coverage […]Thu, 23 Apr 2020 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/healthy-relationships-during-covid-19/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/healthy-relationships-during-covid-19/Online media sources have reported a dramatic increase in divorce filings in China since the reopening of their Divorce Courts following the COVID-19 closures. About two-thirds of the couples filing for divorce during this period cited the stresses of dealing with the virus or the quarantine measures as the reason for the breakdown in the […]Tue, 14 Apr 2020 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-covid-19-and-your-house/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-covid-19-and-your-house/There is speculation that the shelter in place directives around the Country may result in a spike in divorce filings as things progress. Couples are being forced to spend more time together in close proximity which may exacerbate relationship challenges. While the jury is out on that eventuality, I have been working with couples who […]Tue, 07 Apr 2020 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/changing-child-and-spousal-support-during-covid-19/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/changing-child-and-spousal-support-during-covid-19/The way child and spousal support typically work in California is that either spouse/parent can seek to obtain an order for support from the Superior Court upon filing for divorce, legal separation, paternity or other appropriate action to bring a case to the family court. The person seeking support would file a motion to request […]Wed, 01 Apr 2020 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-covid-19-the-courts-are-closed-so-now-what/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/divorce-and-covid-19-the-courts-are-closed-so-now-what/If you are counting on the Courts to resolve the issues of your divorce you may be waiting for a while…a long, long while. The San Diego Courts closed last week and in their announcement indicated they would not reopen until April 6, 2020. With the impact that the virus has had on other Countries […]Mon, 23 Mar 2020 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/the-case-for-divorce-mediation-where-you-are-now-and-where-you-want-to-be/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/the-case-for-divorce-mediation-where-you-are-now-and-where-you-want-to-be/The Case for Divorce Mediation As a divorce attorney and mediator, I see many couples in my office who are at the beginning of the process and who are trying to gather information to determine the best way to move forward with their case for divorce. In choosing a way to proceed, it is valuable […]Tue, 03 Dec 2019 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/shout-it-from-the-mountaintops-divorce-mediation-is-an-option/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/shout-it-from-the-mountaintops-divorce-mediation-is-an-option/I recently completed a final divorce mediation session with a couple who were signing the final documents memorializing their agreement to be filed with the Court. I asked them about how they came to choose mediation versus them each hiring attorneys to handle their divorce. The Wife responded that she was driving past my office […]Fri, 22 Nov 2019 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/top-10-benefits-to-mediation-when-divorcing-part-two/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/top-10-benefits-to-mediation-when-divorcing-part-two/When you invest in mediation instead of heading straight to court, you design your own agreement, rather than allowing others to make decisions for you. The agreement that you create in mediation includes everything that is important to you both. If you and your former spouse are able to work out a divorce agreement through […]Tue, 18 Jun 2019 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/top-10-benefits-to-mediation-when-divorcing-part-one/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/top-10-benefits-to-mediation-when-divorcing-part-one/When you are getting a divorce, mediation has a number of benefits. From spending less money to keeping your business private, mediation can give you the resolution you want without spending hours in the court room. If you and your former spouse are able to work out a divorce agreement through mediation, it is the […]Tue, 04 Jun 2019 00:00:00 GMThttps://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/what-you-need-to-know-about-divorce-litigation-and-mediation/https://ahealthydivorce.com/blog/what-you-need-to-know-about-divorce-litigation-and-mediation/When you and your spouse make the decision to file for a divorce, you have choices. While you might believe that your only answer is to battle in court for what you want, this is almost never recommended. Divorce mediation gives you the opportunity to work out a divorce agreement with your spouse, while litigation […]Sat, 13 Apr 2019 00:00:00 GMT